…so britney is bipolar..

January 4, 2008 - Leave a Response


…some may know that i have been saying this ever since she shaved her head.  and rumors were abundant that she might have been bipolar, but everyone assumed she had a drug problem and that overshadowed her bipolar disorder issue.

…until last night, when she was wheeled out of her house strapped to a gurney, laughing hysterically.


…that article i just linked to tells of Britney and her bipolar medication. Does not say what she is on, only that she is, and everyone is blaming something, including her meds.

…i hope that she stays in the medical centre for a year or so. don’t let her watch tv, or hear headlines, and god sakes get rid of any of her “new” friends which have looked more like enablers than true friends in the last year.

…apparently one of my favorite celebrities is also bipolar, or so his parents think. Steve-o, the crazy dude from the Jackass series. he wrote a blog about it on his myspace not too long ago, and how his parents want him to get help.

…what i’ve learned is that everyone is different. what works for me, won’t necessarily work for you. it took hearing that from a good friend of mine to put me in my place and cause me to stop trying to dictate other people’s lives. i just feel i’ve been very lucky in all the treatment and people i’ve met and that i do have my life in some form of order. and when i see other people spiraling downwards or going through manic phases i want to stop it for them, but i can’t.

…my problem is that those who don’t get treated, don’t want to change, ruin it for everyone else that is trying. they give bipolar disorder a worse rep than it already has. it is a serious problem, but it can be managed. what can’t be fixed though, are those people who have come in contact with an unstable person. they see the worst that the illness has to offer, and therefore come to conclusions that everyone with a mental illness must be just as bad off.

…i was on a dating site not too long ago, and was amazed at how many profiles were up with guys stating “if you are bipolar do NOT contact me”. we’re not talking one, or 3, we’re talking about 15 profiles that i found, and those are local to me. for fun i contacted those guys, to ask them about their experiences with bipolar women. a few of them actually dated bipolar girls, the rest just heard from word of mouth from so and so who dated a bipolar person.

…word of mouth does a lot of damage.

…which brings me to a question a friend asked me. she’s dating a guy and he does not know she’s bipolar. she does not want to tell him ever, but knows she has to at some point. we both agreed that maybe if she waits till things get serious, then she can mention it.

…other people argue that it is something that should be brought up right away.

…why? so they can make a decision based on their little knowledge they might have about the disorder and end the relationship before they give it a shot? no. i think she’s right in letting him get to know her/fall in love with her, and only letting him know when the time is right. if he was to find a pill bottle, she should tell him the truth, no lies.  there is no deception in this whatsoever. it’s just that when he finds out, he can’t automatically call her crazy and panic. because he can look back on the x amount of months and realize that she’s been this way long before he came along, so  the only difference is now he knows she takes pills, when before he didn’t.

…i’ve been pretty lucky. i’ve only encountered one person who had a problem with me being bipolar. everyone else embraces it, and or makes jokes like “that’s cool, we’re all a little crazy”…


i wish you a merry christmas.

December 24, 2007 - Leave a Response

…from the bottom of my heart. i hope you get everything you asked for and more and that the day passes quickly and without difficulty.

…the week before christmas is always the most stressful time in my house. the majority of my family members are fake and this is the only time when they all see each other, with gifts to give “only because they do not want to show up emptyhanded”. and then the person on the recieving end of the gift does their best to smile and show enthusiasim for a gift that is useless to them. why go out and buy a fancy gourmet salad “drizzle” and tongs and spices and wrap it up to give to a guy who hates to cook?

…the day before christmas is the worst.  mum ends up being sick from stress and just plain crazy. i know how to clean, and do a good job. but on christmas eve she hollers like i’m 11 and have never done this before. but i’m used to it (20 years later)…but it still gets on your nerves.

…christmas eve also means the requirement of going to church. i have not gone to church (aside from attending baptismals/confirmations of my neices and nephews) in 10 years. but every year, they ask me, will you be joining us this year for church?


…so tonite i will go to bed, and sleep as long as i can. wake up with my little sister, do the “present” thing, and hopefully find someone to go to coffee with or somewhere to escape to until dinner time.

…then i’m off to see “alien vs. predator: requiem”…WOOOOOOOOO!


December 16, 2007 - One Response

…i am amazed at the lengths people will go to get things. selfish, stupid idiots.


…stupid #$%!@T^* snow.

December 16, 2007 - Leave a Response

…today was supposed to be an awesome day. putting up a christmas tree with some friends at a friend’s house, making cookies, that sort of thing.

…instead, mother nature decided to unleash her inner demon and drop a foot and a half of snow. and it’s still going.

…i don’t drive a truck, my car is so low to the ground i’ll snowplow more than go anywhere. i’m highly pissed. i don’t want to stay at home today.

…PLEASE let the snowplow come and plow it all away and make it stop snowing. i hate this crap!

aries/taurus cusp…and my “style”

December 14, 2007 - Leave a Response

aries/taurus cusp… (april 22nd):

— Possess the fiery forwardness and willfulness inherent in Aries —
— Possess the practicality, endurance and nurturing inherent in Taurus —
— Has a markedly dominant personality —
— Becomes very uncomfortable if forced to submit to the control of another —
— Highly strategic in thought and action —
— In no hurry to see results —
— Expert in thorough and painstaking preparation —
— Reluctant to allow things to happen as they will —
— Somewhat insensitive to the feelings of others —


Positive Traits: practical, reliable, patient, persistent, determined, strong-willed, solid, affectionate, warm-hearted and trustworthy with a firm sense of values

Negative Traits: possessive, jealous, lazy, self-indulgent, greedy, boring, unoriginal, stubborn and inflexible in opinion

Likes: permanency, stability, luxury, comfort, pleasure and good food

Dislikes: disruption, being rushed, being indoors, being pushed too hard and any break in routine

…all that basically defines me in a nutshell.  i don’t agree with the boring or unoriginal part…but everything else…yes.



…she’s my style icon. has been since i was a teen. i don’t look like her but i’ve tried adopting some of her style. she’s got the preppy girl/rude girl/punk chick/vintage chick combo going on and i LOVE it.  (i never did the “bindi” craze she started though, only time i wasn’t a fan of what she was sporting).

“imitation is the most sincere form of flattery”

December 14, 2007 - Leave a Response

…but it’s also the most annoying thing that i find myself struggling to maintain control over.

…everyone copies everyone else. it’s not a new thing.

…but it is downright suffocating when someone close to you is adopting your sense of style and then parading it like it was her own idea in the first place.

…this happens because of two things: a), she is skinnier than me so when we are shopping and i piece together an outfit for myself but find i can’t fit it or it does not look right, she’s got the same outfit in her room and *surprise!* it looks good.

b) she has the money to buy these important staples.

…so i’ve learned now, to keep my trap shut. unfortunatly she’s been keeping notes all along and is currently updating her wardrobe.

…it’s nice to know that she agrees with my taste and that i do know what looks good. it’s frustrating that 3 months ago, when i said oh “this and this would look amazing together” she would curl her lip up in a snarl and look at me like i was a weirdo. fast forward time to now, and she’s bought the outfit.

…i am the last person anyone wants to get into competition with.  if i care enough about the situation, my competition will lose. no ifs ands or buts. i am a taurus through and through. and, like a taurus, i pick and choose my battles carefully and won’t even bother with something i see no point in. like a clothes war, or a competition to get more dates, or anything. not because i don’t want to lose, it’s because i’ve got better things on my mind than to worry about what the jones’es are up to.

…wow. this sucks.

December 11, 2007 - Leave a Response

….i keep trying to prevent a certain friend from making huge mistakes. but she still makes them, and ends up fighting a bigger battle afterwards. and it kills me mentally because i am so frustrated that she won’t read the fine print, or even think about all possibilities and how easily she trusts people.

…maybe i’m jealous that i can’t trust people as easily as she can. i don’t know. but it seems like a lot when it’s a roof over your head you’re gambling on.

…she’s got a guy friend who just irritates me to the core. he’s got “Creepy” written all over him and he’s just wrong wrong wrong. she’s known him for a month, mostly chatting online. she even tried blocking him because he was too forward. now they’ve met, and hung out a bit, and she’s going to live with him because she wants to save money?


…so much more to the story than that but i won’t say much further.  i’m just shaking my head.

…doesn’t help that my car decided to lose it’s muffler…14 days before christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.

i was all by myself…

November 28, 2007 - Leave a Response

…and i was thinking of you.


…but really. i have been all by myself for the last 2 hours and i’ve loved every moment of it. i’ve had a lot of reflection time, and i’ve been working out some plans for early 2008. i am probably going to disappear for about a month. i figure on working at a factory for a month and making maximum $ and clearing up the last bit of debt i have. i have to do a bit more research though, seeing as i don’t want to jeopardize my ODSP.

so i’m trying to work on a project and my damned computer keeps freezing up/shutting off. no fun. last night i was thisclose to throwing the monitor out the window. i’ve been threatening to do so for the last 3 years and i swear, as soon as i invest in another computer…i will take this monitor to a high-rise building and throw it out the window. and enjoy doing so.

when in doubt, blame the inanimate objects. 😉


November 21, 2007 - Leave a Response

…so i did it.

 got my nipple pierced.

 pinched the most out of any piercing i’ve had. but didn’t cause me to well up in the eyes. so i guess it was not the worst piercing i’ve recieved.

 awkward though, you don’t realize how much abuse your boobs go through in an average day until you’re trying to “baby” one of them…

it’s the perma grin that gives you crowsfeet…

November 19, 2007 - Leave a Response

 it’s true. distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 it’s been months since i last watched the transformers movie.

 i watched it last night…and i got freaking giddy all over again. miss perma grin, clapping her hands when optimus talked…and yelling “shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” when people dared speak when he was on screen…


it’s that time of year i hate. christmas. i’m not a scrooge, i just get ticked off with how horrible a holiday of stress this has become and would rather bypass it all right to…march. let’s skip new years because i don’t like it, and valentines day too.

my two favorite holidays are st.patricks day and halloween. neither cause much stress at all. no awkward gift giving, unwanted family get-togethers, credit card debt, bratty kids, pervy uncles, or comments about “poor so-so, she’s still single”…

but, suck it up i do every year. i’ve got 3 nephews and 2 neices to make it worth while all the time.